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People Really Said These Things In Court
jokes.comedy central on 04/14/2007 at 10:08pm (UTC)
 People Really Said These Things In Court

jokes.comedy central on Tue Feb 20 at 9:49 pm Uhr

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.



Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?



Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.



Q: How old is your son - the one living with you.

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.



Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.



Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.



Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.



Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?



Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?



Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?



Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?



Q: Did he kill you?



Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?



Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?



Q: How many times have you committed suicide?



Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?



Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?



Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?



Q: Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?

A: I went to Europe, sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?



Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?



Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?



Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.



Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
 

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